“…now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s start talking about some common problem areas,” she said, looking out across a sea of apathetic employees. Most of them were either playing with their phones or chatting with each other.
That wouldn’t do. She was coming dangerously close to speaking out of turn, despite the fact that the company was paying her to give this presentation. Oh well, no one ever said the consequences of the Harridan Act had to be logical.
She undid a couple more buttons on her blouse and cleared her throat, recapturing some of the lost attention. It was safe to continue, at least for now.
“Most of us love a good laugh, and humor can relieve tension and energize. However, sarcasm and teasing carry some unfortunate risks. Fun certainly isn’t banned in the workplace, but ‘it was just a joke’ is no excuse. Remember that it’s the impact, not the intent, that determines if a reasonable person would consider the behavior appropriate.”
Dozens of eyes rolled. She was losing them again, and fast. It was time to take more drastic action.
Taking her blouse off entirely, she puffed her chest out and plastered on a smile she didn’t feel. It was way too early to be resorting to this. Damnit, why the hell didn’t I go for bigger implants? This is my livelihood on the line! I should’ve known C cups wouldn’t be enough.
“Also remember that unwanted touching can be offensive and uncomfortable to others. Please keep this in mind if you’re used to touching people in your private life,” she said, speeding through the section awkwardly. Nobody ever listens to that part anyway.
“Remember that if unwelcome behavior causes offense, it will be judged based on whether or not a reasonable person would find it offensive. A reasonable pers—”
“I got yer reasonable person right here,” hooted one of the men in the front row. He was gesturing to his crotch.
Everyone laughed, but it didn’t help. They were paying attention to the heckler now, and not her. Goddamnit, she thought, unable to speak until a few more eyes were back on her.
With a heavy sigh, she hiked up her skirt, revealing the garters and she’d worn for just this occasion. Of course, she hadn’t planned on showing them before hitting the section on Employee Responsibilities near the end.
Shivering as the air conditioning vent directly above her blew down on her exposed skin, she skipped ahead even more. “Remember that retaliation against your employees after they have filed a complaint is illegal,” she said, not bothering to point out that most employers get around this by simply not giving a reason for firing the troublemaker. Everyone already knew that loophole.
“Anyone filing a report is entitled to confidentiality, within reason,” she continued on autopilot, climbing atop the table and turning away from the crowd. She arched her back and leaned forward, running her hands up her legs. “If the issue goes to court, all requests for confidentiality will be voided,” she added, squeezing her ass seductively.
A wolf-whistle came from the back of the room, making her shudder. Still, it was proof that they were paying attention, and that meant she was free to continue.
“Please keep in mind that is a serious problem, causing more than hurt feelings. It is very disruptive to a workplace, and it can lead to a loss of health, time, productivity, and company profits.”
Groans from behind her. Fuck.
Flipping back around to face them again, she spread her legs and hiked her skirt up even more, exposing her freshly shaved cunt to the cold air.
Tracing slow circles around her clit, she rushes the rest of the presentation as fast as she can. “If you think you might be a victim yourself, please talk to the person directly and explain your problem. If it continues, document it thoroughly before taking it to your superior. Rest assured that your complaint will be handled with the utmost respect.”
Sinking a couple of fingers into her hole, she asks if there are any questions.
There are several, but none are about the presentation. She ignores them.
“Thank you for your time today. Before you leave, I will need all of you to sign a form indicating that you understood this seminar and will do your utmost to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace,” she announces with dread. Predictably, every man in the room snaps to attention.
The predatory gaze that follows allows her speak all she wants; a pity that the sudden lump in her throat has stolen her voice.